A World Away... (syrius) wrote,
A World Away...
syrius

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lol Just where to start!

Well since I last posted I've nearly died at least twice, had three open heart surgeries and I'm still not guaranteed to live.

Good huh? And you thought your year sucked?

February 6th, my damn birthday I go into A&E... To cut a long story short I woke up 10 days later. Which was a mini miracle.

30%
That was my chances of surviving. Not including operations, two of those at 80%, and one simpler. Now I suck at maths but I recon I'm a lucky sod to still be here.

I've had Endocarditis, which in simplest terms is like meningitis that attacks the heart not the brain. Fortunately people can repair the heart, or I'd be well dead.

On the other hand I'm not in any of the risk groups for Endocarditis, so I was really unlucky to get it. :sigh:

I'm in an odd mood tonight, feel sorry for myself, be fatalistic type mood, I used to get them but just kinda convinced myself I was being silly, can't do that now...

I just want to live.
Nicely taken for granted by everyone, living to see 31 would be nice, living to see 41 would be awesome and so on...

Had my infectious diseases department checkup today, they have some blood and such. Will know by the end of the week if I'm going to live a little longer, then back again in feb for tests again and so on. Dr says if I live a year in the clear I'm probably set to see seventy or run-away bus, whichever happens first.

They've never actually found the bug that's doing this to me, which is an odd thing, but best guess is its a really nasty hidey bug that sits and slowly becomes lethal and is hard to kill. Nice. I'm being ninja bacteria'd to death.

I am pretty damn grateful for the time Ive had, could just as easily have not woken up after my birthday, this way I've had some good times with my family, a luxury many aren't so lucky to have. And I hope I'm just being fatalistic, yup! But it is just hope :-/

Basically this nasty builds in my system and attacks my heart, and they are running out of bits to replace. The metal in my heart is apparently a happy growing ground for said nasty, so each time they don't kill it I have to have the valves replaced, which is an increasing 20+% chance of pegging it. Oh yeah! I tick! Like the crocodile from Peter Pan! The little metal valves go click, so I tick, listen carefully and you'll hear it :-)

I should be asleep, going Xmas shopping tomorrow with Elaine. Getting dragged to see sparkly vampires too... Best be a whole lot more smiting, and a whole lot less smooching in this one. Part 1 sucked.

It's kinda hard to motivate myself to aspire to anything lasting, although 7 months of hospital food has given me a new appreciation of cookery, I cook most days now, I'm getting to be ok at chopping and can whip up some homemade soup in about 30 mins.

I have learned pan fried chicken is nice, pasta sauces are super easy, how to make guacamole and a kickass salsa and all about Warfarin. The latter has nothing to do with cooking by the way.

Warfarin is rat poison. It's also what I have to take for the rest of my life, keeps my heart valves from throwing off bloodclots. It's a bitch to take, everyone has a different tolerance and its effected by what you eat, needs monitoring at least once a month, and in my case means every other day at the docs. I bring this up because I'm no longer allowed salads.

Yes, that's right, those leafy greens could kill me. Ha! I always figured it would be the takeaways! Nope!

Meh I'd better try to sleep... Wish me luck folks, whoever actually still reads this, I really need it. Fingers crossed for seeing February 2014, chances are if I do, I'm good for life :-D
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